By Frank Cerabino | Tuesday, February 27, 2007, 11:05 PM

Look Out for Those Dangling Chads

Civic history will be made this week, as the town of Loxahatchee Groves holds a town council candidates debate in Sunsport Gardens Family Naturist Resort — which is the only gated community in the small suburban Palm Beach County town.

It’s also a nudist colony.

Hanging out with the constituents

Nine of the 10 candidates in the town council race will come here Thursday for a clothing-optional attempt to win some votes in next month’s election.

The naturist resort has the highest population density in the town, which is mostly made up of large single-family homes on dirt roads.

So a candidate needs to play his cards right at the nudist camp debate.

Looks like everybody’s folding

We here at The Blogaroni, in an attempt to further the cause of clothing-optional democracy, have come up with a list of talking points for candidates to stress at Sunsport Gardens.

Nudist Camp Talking Points for Candidates

The right to bare arms

And legs, too, and … well … you get the idea. It may not be in the U.S. Constitution, but it ought to be.

If the Founding Fathers didn’t mean us to play tennis in the buff, they wouldn’t have called zero "love."

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Neighborhood Watch doesn’t mean Neigborhood Leer

Yes, we all need to look out for our neighbor and pay attention to what’s shaking in the neighborhood.

But that doesn’t mean it’s OK to get out the binoc’s to see what’s shaking on the volleyball court.

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Support Government in the Sunshine

And we’re not just talking about full disclosure when it comes public records and financial dealings.

We’re talking about Government in the Sunshine, literally. A kind of bring-your-old-towel form of public service.

Pledge to hold "town meetings" with your constituents, an informal get-it-all-out beef session.

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Promise not to sell them down the river to developers

Be a staunch supporter of "canuding."

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And finally …

Pledge to Support the Nude Agenda

We’re not even sure if there is a "nude agenda." And chances are, if it’s written down, nobody’s got a pocket to carry it in. But let’s say, for the campaign’s sake, there is a nude agenda.

Then you should champion it, and take the lead in creating bold new concepts such as … um, hang on, I’m thinking … um, OK, here goes:

Take A Nude Old Man to Work Day … which might look something like this …

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OK, candidates. I believe we’ve got you started in the right direction for Thursday night’s debate. We’re sure, with the right approach at the nudist camp, your political futures can do nothing but take off. And we mean all the way off.

Good luck.